Author: NA

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To Defer or Not Defer Grad School

break

Slava was my mentor in college: he was older, a grad student and we were from the same country and he always had great advice for me when I needed it. One day I asked Slava if he recommended that I go to grad school. He said no, but if I do, I should do it straight after grad school. As I apply now, in my mid thirties, I see both reasons to take time off and not take time off. There are pros and cons but in general, for most people it is better to go straight through for personal and financial reasons. By going over why, we may find out what is the best course of action in the end.

When a student finishes college, they feel as if they are done with school. They  want to get into the work force, have a nine-to five, go on vacations when they wish and finally, make money. So why would they go to grad school? Well, people who go to grad school on average making $10,000 more than those who do not. Over their lifetime that adds up to a lot of money. So if someone decides to put off grad school, for every year that they are not in grad school they are missing out on that income and more importantly accelerated career that the added education would have given them. Better options in career usually means more options and opportunities, better opportunities and avoiding the stagnation that so many people fall into. Imagine having more money earlier in life and better options for career. People who go to grad school and earn more can afford better vacations, a nicer home, afford better things, and save more for children’s college and retirement. These reasons add up to going to grad school sooner than later.

So the financial reasons for going to grad school are clear, but why shouldn’t I take a year or two off? After all, it’s just a year or two break. Well, studies show that people are less likely to go back to grad school once they leave college. Think about the momentum: you were studying all the time before and now you work at a job that provides food, is nine to five, no homework, no studying for stressful finals. You take vacations, you earn money, you finally have stuff and free weekends. Added is the social pressure of being with friends and co-workers to go out with as well as dating date and hanging out with friends who are not in grad school means the pressure to stay away from grad school is greater than ever. It takes a dedicated and disciplined person to see a better future and walk away from everything. If you go straight through from undergrad to grad, you don’t have to make those difficult decisions. It is true, you have to be poor for a longer period of time and you have to suffer a bit more, but once you’re done, you’re done. Furthermore, if a person waits too long, they may have a relationship, marriage, kids and these things could add costs to grad school as one may now have to do it part time and that would add time and money. Furthermore, with family and responsibilities, one may now be confined to a geographic place, leading a person to take a more convenient school instead of the one that helps the career most.

On the other hand, just because there are good points to going to grad school fresh from college doesn’t mean there aren’t good reasons not to. Some people learn better if they have a little bit of experience in the real world. Maybe they don’t know what to go to grad school for, maybe they don’t know if they want to continue in their current field. Those are great reasons to delay going to grad school. However, for those people there could be an alternative: apply and take your grad school test and then take a year of deferment. This way one is able to get some real world experience, save up a little bit of money, get that grad school letter of recommendation but also have the grad school there in the plan such that they are sure to go. For most people, the field of study will not change and if they do decide on medical school or dental school but studied physics, that is still an option but it would be a minority of most people who choose to switch fields.

I hope it is clear that the decision to go to graduate school, is not as easy as it seems. It is important to consider the social pressure not to go back and the difficulty of studying on a mind no longer accustomed to academic life as well as the financial repercussions for going later or not going at all. For those who need some time off, an alternative does exist by applying while in college such that the plan is in the works to go back, but generally, try to go straight through, it will be easier and more rewarding in the end.

If you like these articles, you can learn more and support more by getting your copy of the Seven Year Degree e-book on Amazon or Lean Pub!

 

 

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Once You Graduate, Everything is Homework

One reason why it is important to pick the right major and profession is because you cannot stop learning just because you graduated. You will be expected to learn everyday to advance yourself. It means reading journals, text books and magazines on your trade. It means taking classes and it means never stopping to learn, if you want to keep your job.

So much learning is impossible if you don’t love what you do. If you don’t honestly care about the work you do and those who you do it for, you will burn out, you will become jaded, you will either quit or be fired. So if you’re reading this book, I know you care for your time and getting it right the first time; so pick the right major and the right job, so you never stop learning.

So this gets to the meat of this post. To succeed in work after you graduate, learn as much as you can consistently and repeatedly.Love and Talent

ambition, dreams, full life, pura vida

Don’t Be Ambitious, Be Pura Vida

Costa Rican’s have a saying: Pura Vida, Full Life. It is not successful life, or happy life, or life of dreams, it’s just full, a life lived to the fullest.

 If you are going to college, almost every one you ever met told you to study hard, go to a good school, get a good job. But the people you probably wanted to listen to were the crazy ones, the ones who said: follow your dream. They are crazy, and they are bullshit.

The reason why following the dream doesn’t work and neither does ambition is because it doesn’t matter. In the end the winners in life are not the ones in history books and not even the ones with million and not even people with medals or feelings that “they did something”. That’s the nice feelings their friends and family get, pride and importance by association. No the true winners are the ones who will say: I lived and I had a fucking blast. Why? Because it doesn’t matter. If you are poor, rich, successful or a looser, what matter is that you lived a good life of integrity and had a good time doing it. Means no guilt of not spending time with family, no guilt of having fights with parents, no guilt of backstabbing friends, no guilt of failing on the job and no guilt of trying to do too much to impress people. Including yourself. Because at the end of the day, when you’re dying of cancer at thirty or a 100, if you get shot or roll over in a car, at that moment you will say to yourself: am I ok with dying? Did I live a good life? Not did I write a book or did I make a million, no, you will think will my kids grow up ok because I gave them a good start, will my wife feel lucky to have married me because I showed her love, do I feel like I explored the world and found out what it is to live in the 21st century? If you say yes you won.

As far as picking a job, don’t do what others think is cool or what you think is cool. Dreams are made of bullshit. Do what you were born to do. If you like doing something, make it a profession. If it is not a profession, find a way. If you are good at something and you love doing it. Do it and if you all of a sudden don’t like it and find something else. Do that. Because doing stupid shit you hate is the anti-thesis of a good life, well lived.

So don’t be ambitious, don’t follow your dreams, don’t do anything that causes you to work for someone else (including yourself) so much that you miss the most important thing: living life so well that you love every freaking moment of it.

So stop chasing stupid shit, like pride and appreciation, chase Pura Vida.

But… should you ignore my warning, know, that there is no greater feeling, than finding out just how great your limits are, achieving goals and dreams. There is no greater gift to your kids, than knowing that in their blood flows an ability to succeed, to do that which others thought impossible before.

It is that moment, that moment of accomplishment that is the true Pura Vida, and it is a high that people who achieved it chase until their death.

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As You Go Off To College, Do Not Do This.

For anyone who is about to start college, do drugs, smoke cigarettes try beer but abstain from one thing no matter how much peer pressure you get, don’t read Ayn Rand. I just read in Raw Story about the dangers of Ayn Rand and I can tell you, that reading her books as an 18 year old made me a horrible person. Her beliefs take away the only thing around you, that is other people. All things can disappear but nothing is more important than your connection to the people around you and nothing helps your happiness than their happiness. Ayn Rand’s anti-communism to the extreme takes the thoughts of a teenager and helps them stay in a person through adult hood. Most people grow out of it, but not after they do some serious damage to their own psyche and those around them.

Her ideas led to Regan dismantling the mental care in US, Greenspan’s deregulation of finance industry leading to the Great Recession and Bush and Rumsfeld’s war in Middle East. That’s on the large level, on the low level I’d say the entire thought that we are not responsible for the poor and that somehow our spouses are to make us happy and if they do not we can cheat and divorce has ruined millions of families.

Ayn Rand may have been the worst thing to have come to United States.

Rand offered a narcotic for confused young people: complete certainty and a relief from their anxiety. Rand believed that an “objective reality” existed, and she knew exactly what that objective reality was. It included skyscrapers, industries, railroads, and ideas—at least her ideas. Rand’s objective reality did not include anxiety or sadness. Nor did it include much humor, at least the kind where one pokes fun at oneself. Rand assured her Collective that objective reality did not include Beethoven’s, Rembrandt’s, and Shakespeare’s realities—they were too gloomy and too tragic, basically buzzkillers. Rand preferred Mickey Spillane and, towards the end of her life, “Charlie’s Angels.”

So if there is one thing I can recommend to you before you head to college: do drugs, do drink, do sleep with people and experience life, with others, not by yourself, not with Ayn Rand.

If you don’t believe me, believe John Oliver.

distractions, facebook addiction, http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008/kind#post, social addict, social addiction, stop social addiction, study help, studying

Getting a Handle on Your Social Media Addiction

In  college and long after college, I was super prone to distractions. In fact I’m distracted right now but I figure I might as well help.

I found that in times of stress, I would automatically go to social media sites and email. I would be on them constantly. I didn’t need to do but it was so automatic that I couldn’t control it. I’d close the browser, use various software, I tried working without Internet and NOTHING worked UNTIL, I realized a simple trick:

Log out.

Seriously.. that’s it. Make sure that the little tick mark that says “Remember Me” is disabled and you’re free.
Somehow that automatic urge to go there is stopped for a second by the need to put in my email and password. At that moment my mind is jarred by the need to think of the email and password and it realizes that at this moment it doesn’t need to. Nothing important will be on there since last time I checked my email or facebook and nothing is so urgent that I have to check it.

And voila, I’m free. My frequency for checking email and facebook has gone from dozens a day to single digits. I am more productive, happier and all with just a simple trick. Hope it helps you too!

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Our Book Page

            One of my favorite teachers in high school, Mr Stimson, had all of his students make a page in his Our Book. Instead of a small picture inside the yearbook that said nothing about you, we had one page where we could write anything we wanted. I wrote this page and it is interesting to see how little I changed. How ADD I was back then, a king of quotes and run on sentences (and still am). Cocky yet nerdy and with a lot of ambition and smugness and the same insecurities that I carry today. You may change a lot after 18, but not as much as you think. (This is page is unedited, just as it appeared in the “Our Book”)

                        This is a San Dieguito Story from a Rushin Point of View
I want to say that San Dieguito men are very fortunate. We have some of the most beautiful and intelligent girls of all schools in the world. Men of other countries would kill to be in our seats, and what do we do, we waste that chance. San Dieguito girls are not that picky, I mean look at what they have to pick from, at San Dieguito a guy is considered to be hot if he’s better looking than a gorilla. Guys take a chance, ask them out, what do you have to loose?
                       
         TV is a Waste of Time, Read a Book and Get Rid of Your Ignorance
            I did a lot during my senior year, sometimes I failed, but in the end I managed to do fairly well. However the main thing that I learned is that “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Its ok to try hard, its ok to fail, you are a failure if you do nothing. As long as you learn from failed attempts, and learn to succeed. As my short experience shows; being successful is not a one-time thing, it’s a habit. 
“In the Life of Garp we are all terminal cases.” (The World According to Garp, John Irving) That maybe so, and for some reason this belief causes everyone to either live in the fear of death, or constantly try to meet because after all “we all die sooner or later.” I believe that the secret to life is to know where you’re going and know how to make it worthwhile. Unfortunately, there’s to many of us that would rather sit in front of the TV rather than bother to think about the direction, and these misguided people end up rolling around in circles, never really getting anywhere and disappearing as if they never existed.
In my opinion life should be safe, eventful and always fun, the hardest part is to do so without wasting it.
            In the words of Dale Carnegie, people want recognition; they want the feeling of being important and known for their deeds. When someone messes up on my name or gives the credit to someone else for my work, I become enraged. I am evolved in almost every aspect of school: from the nerdy NHS and Physics club to the famous jock sport that I helped create at this school, Wrestling. All because I want to be recognized, I want to have that feeling of achievement. However, making someone else feel important will raise you that much in their eyes and make them feel good about helping you because once a person has gained the feeling of self importance in someone else’s eyes, they don’t want to drop that feeling.
            “Always Smile” Carnegie said. In some cases a smile is worth a million dollars because people don’t like to deal with angry people. In high school everything is about grades. At the same time everything is about the parties. Next time you receive a bad review or bad grade, come up to the supervisor with a smile, it might make them want to listen to you rather than tell you to leave, honestly, this works. Not only did it work in changing a teacher’s opinion about my grade, but also it changed an admission councilor’s decision at a college, trust me it works.
           


Academic Decathlon Vice President         3rd  team all county                      
SDA Wrestling founder and 2x Captain     6th at CIFs
NHS, CSF, yadda, yadda, yadda.
This is all to make me feel better about myself, I think id did the trick,


I feel good. 5-21-2000            
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Chapter 18: Family

Even in high school, my family essentially left me alone. They paid the tuition without too much hassling even when I failed or took classes again. They helped out with cash when I was a little short and even didn’t ask for the money back when I pocketed a quarter’s worth of tuition when I took two quarters off school. They rarely visited me and just asked me to visit.

This maybe the way it goes for most people although rare occurences of disagreement can overshadow even the least difficult parent-child relationships.

It’s a hard balance, from one perspective, you are now free and mom and dad have a hard time facing that and at the same time you’re not, because maybe they are paying for your school and your living expenses. They have to let you go and make mistakes but at the same time, they don’t want to see you make mistakes that could cost you your life.

UCSD campus was built on cliffs. We would often go down these cliffs for some awesome surf. One kid, Gilbert, decided to climb the cliffs. They were soft sandstone and often crumbled and fell. He was from Nor Cal, not used to the soft spongy clay and as he climbed, a piece fell off and Gilbert fell to his death. Here’s a case of a kid out on his own, away from the parents, a sweet and smart kid and one stupid move and he’s dead… His parents will never see him, he will never get a diploma or travel the world..

This fear is why some parents would go crazy trying to protect their kids. One friend in college would find her mom at her dorm once a week, bringing her food but really checking up on her. It drove her crazy, but in someways, this checking up kept her on track and out of trouble.

It’s a fine line and that line is best kept through communication. You calling your parents and talking to them will make them a lot more relaxed about you and that will in turn give you peace and let you have the freedom to do your best. When you stop talking to them, they will probably wonder what’s going on, start calling and maybe visit you, and that will probably keep you out of trouble and on a good path to graduate and do well in life.

There are so many distractions in college, parents can become one of them or be a great tool to keep you on track, as well as a great source of funds if you are so lucky.

I would often go see my parents on the weekends when I moved out, the talks and questions were tough when I wasn’t doing well, they frankly pissed me off. But that in the end helped me do better because when I wasn’t accountable to myself, I was at least accountable to their annoying questions.

Be thankful for the love and if you don’t have it.. then find it in yourself to help your friends and create a family for yourself in college. There are lots of kids like you, without support, without help, so help each other out, watch out for each other and be a family.. Because you will soon find out, that in the end, we do nothing for ourselves and everything for people around us. 

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Chapter 6 Student Organizations

Student Organizations
  • Finding the right one
  • Professional
  • Social
  • Starting one
  • Benefits
   In addition to stamina, intelligence and physical prowess, one needs other skills in life which a lot of students develop while involved in the hundreds of student organizations which exist on college campuses. They allow one to develop their interests, social abilities, widen social networks and develop leadership abilities. Last one occurs because over years of involvement, you are sure to be more involved and take on more and more responsibilities and develop a much more meaningful experience with the organization. Many people come back to their organizations years later and keep in touch with those who they were involved with for many years.

Which One Should I Pick?
They way to find an organization is usually that first week when they are out advertising themselves. Find that which interests you and see the people who run them. If you like the people and you share common interests and passions, it will be a good experience and pay off well. It doesn’t matter if it is a sport, an environmental advocacy, church group (although honestly, those scare me) or a hiking club. The important part is that this will add to your major, your personal grown and it will be fun.

If it Doesn’t Exist, Start it.

But back to business of student orgs, I’ll explain them from my perspective and how I got into them. I was studying optics and in San Diego, there would be a conference every year where scientists and engineers doing optics from around the world belonging to that particular society would come together and present their work. Once I realized that my school did not have this society, I realized it could use it since there was so much research and talent in that sphere. Once I began the organization, I learned what it is to recruit people, what it is to fund-raise and what it is to work with other organizations. It wasn’t easy. I first got a feeling for who wanted the club, so I introduced my idea in an optics class and passed around a sign up sheet and seeing 15 names on it I decided to go on with it and have a meeting. Two people showed up to the meeting but they motivated me to continue. I felt that I could accomplish a lot with this club and add value to lives of students. This pushed me to work to get funding, get advisers, speakers and worked with other clubs to create joint events. When you are doing something good that benefits others like students, department and major, people get on board and help. This was an amazing experience and it actually led me to finding work once I finished college. This was one of those things that made me realize that everything you do in life will either open or close doors.

When starting or joining organizations, the number one reason for doing is because you enjoy the people you are with. The reason one does anything is because of the people and you learn to value that when you are in a student organization and it is a lesson that was an invaluable part of my education.

Dangers:

    There are many organizations and many people find themselves involved in more than one. In fact, you can find yourself interested in so many organizations as to over involve yourself and end up watching your academics and quality of life take a dive. So make sure to keep a balance. Just like videogames, tv, partying and books, a little at the right time is a good thing but too much will knock off the balance of the life and there will be consequences to pay.

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Chapter 13: Time Off

True sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

  1. Why do it
  2. What it accomplishes.
  3. Fake time off through study abroad.
    It was the end of the first half of sophomore year of college when I got my progress report: C, C-, C-. I was taking all upper division Physics classes and things were not going well. The classes were interesting and fun and I was doing horribly because I had no idea what I was doing there. I was unmotivated to continue. What was I doing? Why was I doing this? I was studying haphazardly, barely opening the books and barely trying at the homework. College was all of a sudden hard and I couldn’t answer the question of why I should put in the effort and something just clicked: I should do what my friend was doing.

      Nancy was going through a difficult time and took time off. During her time off and just like many famous people the likes of which include Steve Jobs, she took a couple classes at a community college and traveled to India. I stole her idea and didn’t enroll for the next quarter, I didn’t even go back to my job at the lab, I just took time off. I wanted to have nothing connected with my old life.

     Did I travel? No.. I wish… Instead, I took Chinese and weight training at a community college and I found a job at a MotoPhoto where I helped develop film.  I was quickly fired from that job for being late four out of five days my first week (my lax schedule at the engineering lab made me forget what it’s like to have a schedule) and after much job searching, I found a job at an Italian deli and later a second job as a parking lot attendant.

    The deli was bad. Because I was the only one who spoke fluent English, I answered phones and chopped lettuce for the sandwich line. Just like in the movie “Coming To America,” I was promoted to making sandwiches and breakfasts. I liked the people but I hated answering to a terrible boss for  minimum wage. By the time I got through my third week working 80 hours a week doing mind numbing work, I knew I needed to go back to school.

    That is what time off is about, it’s about figuring out what you want out of life so that if you know what you want to learn, you give it your all. In all honesty, after coming back, there were some classes where I did better and some in which I did worse and some I had to repeat multiple times. The important part was that I was willing to do it because I had a goal which I did not have before taking time off.

    I’m telling you this because I feel that you need to remember that there is another option during times of spinning wheels. Don’t pick a major unless you’re sure that it is what you want to do because as long as you have doubts, you will not apply yourself and you may come to regret it later. Of course some people will doubt themselves no matter what. That is natural but for those people for whom it is a constant thought, it is important to recognize that those doubts have to do with liking what you’re doing and future prospects. If you are not sure you will be successful, you need to remind yourself that the field you are in does not define your success, only your willingness to work does. However, if you’re not ready for school, if you’re not ready to work hard everyday to learn what you need to to be successful in your field, you should not be there and if nothing seems to help, you might need time off to figure things out.
   Maybe my reason for going to college was not the best. I didn’t want to be the best engineer, I just didn’t want to make minimum wage for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to become like some of my co-workers who worked hard without a prospect of a future. It was too hard working so many hours a week and not being able to save money. This was while I was single and with roommates, I thought about prospect of family and outlook became even more dim. By going back to school, I was able to get a much better job and have much more choice today. Because of my time off, I came back to school re-focused, re-freshed and  I was no longer taking my education and job as a student for granted.

Gap Year

    By 2006/2007, some colleges began to offer time off before first year of college as some do in Europe and Australia where they call it “gap year.” Some kids, who have the means, take it to travel the world while others work to save up or volunteer. If you’re intelligent enough, you can probably do the same thing and get someone to pay for it. The Blue brothers (not from the movie) who came to own General Atomics,  as students of Yale University in the sixties, paid for their flight across central and south America by writing articles for travel magazines. Additionally scholarships and fellowships exist to pay for travel and adventures.

     Another choice is to volunteer in places like Guatemala, I met lots of people while traveling through central America however it does often cost money to do that. I met two girls: Julia and Jane from Seattle in Nicaragua who were biking with two guys from San Francisco on the Island of Ometeppe in the middle of lake Nicaragua. They were there for two weeks to travel and then were to spend two more working in the fields of Nicaragua. I met a girl who quit her fashion career in Sao Paulo to work the fields on a kibbutz in the desert of Israel. And a good friend of mine Michael left his job for sever months to help build a school in Africa. School is work and sometimes you need to re-orient yourself, quit and see if your compass is in the right direction. Most of the time people come back to the same thing. Partially, because what they are looking for can’t be found somewhere else.

Study Abroad

    One other opportunity, which I call fake time off, is Study-Abroad. You continue to take classes, you get to experience another country and another culture, you get to travel and you don’t loose time. Most people who do it do not have an epiphany, do not change course and generally have the money to afford it (or at least exploit the love and well wishing of their parents) to finance their trip. My best friend went to Costa Rica (where he lost his virginity) another classmate of mine went to Australia, and another to Italy. What most people will say is that it is the time of their life. While coaching wrestling I met many foreign exchange students and I hosted some of them and some hosted me when I went to their countries. What I noticed among them all is that they were all strong individuals who had the ability to be far from family, be independent and open themselves up to new experiences. If you are not that type of person, then I recommend even more that you do it.
People who come back from study abroad, lack that timidness and fear of traveling to far away places. They are not afraid of language barriers, customs and just facing the world. They are worldly and more mature people. So grow some new neurons and experience life! What else will you do with your life? Play video games? On the other hand, those who wanted to study abroad but never died recall it as their biggest regret of undergraduate education.

Word of Caution

A Gap year can be great but too many people I met while traveling did not use traveling to expand their mind but to escape the banality of everyday life. If there is not purpose behind your life, you are not likely to rediscover it somewhere else. Party at home, relax abroad but always push yourself out of your comfort zone to grow as a person, it’s what makes life awesome.
What you you might be surprised to learn from your time abroad, is that what you had was good and you don’t miss the good until you experience the bad. Don’t worry, I’m not spoiling a surprise, it’s a great feeling to find out something you already knew before.